It takes a specific set of skills to be able to walk through complex trauma and still work to make the world a better place than she found it. After living through her own childhood adversity, marital abuse, high-control religion, and surviving suicide loss, that’s exactly what The Nightingale Group Founder and Executive Director, MaryBeth Koenes, has done.
Garnering a degree in Psychology as she raised her kids solo after losing their dad to suicide, MaryBeth has always been drawn to studying human behavior. Particularly of interest to her has been how people experience trauma so differently – some seeming to thrive beyond it, finding stable relationships, work, and purpose in their lives, and others… simply struggling to cope with daily tasks.
This curiosity has propelled MaryBeth into nearly a decade of work as a Life Coach, specifically working with survivors of domestic violence, abusive relationships, and high-control environments. During her time healing herself, coaching clients, and raising teenagers, a theory began to take shape.
The skills to cope with hardship successfully are rooted in secure relationships. If we enter adulthood without having planted the seeds that come with experiencing an emotionally and psychologically safe bond in relationships with either a peer, caregiver, or mentor, our nervous systems are more likely to struggle to grow roots and find the confidence that comes with a felt sense of, “I am okay. I can do this. I am enough.”
And if the nervous system isn’t sending us cues of grounded competence in our ability to navigate life, it is very likely that our “reptilian brain” (the part that has one function – fighting to survive death threats – fight, flight, freeze, fawn) is making more decisions than we ever really wanted. Basically, our survival instincts are cutting off any baby growth or continually sabotaging the root systems we’re trying so desperately to cultivate. This cycle ultimately stunts our ability to create and maintain stability in our lives and relationships.
If any part of this theory was true (spoiler alert, it is), MaryBeth’s next question became: How do we help?
This is where The Nightingale Group was born. MaryBeth explains:
“I wanted to form an organization that collaborated with already-existing efforts that are helping support children, youth, and adults in similar ways. The goal was to create programs that filled in the gaps between suicide prevention, domestic violence awareness, ending human trafficking, and more related programs – to build a foundation of emotional and relational literacy.
“We want young people, caregivers, educators, and communities to know what safety, emotional and psychological (which includes physical, financial, and spiritual), feels like when they receive it, and then they will learn how to give that kind of genuine care to others.
“It’s an honor to take on this charge, and I believe I have a unique combination of experience, training, and passion to take this mission to student campuses across the country.”
If you would like to join forces with MaryBeth and The Nightingale Group, please reach out, we would love to hear from you! We are currently looking for partners to run the EQ!UP program, volunteers for the organization, and donations to fund our 2026-27 goals. Thank you for joining us on this journey to improving quality of life for our teens!
